Originally Posted: February 23rd, 2020

I used to work as help desk for a small company.

At the time of this story, we had just just switched over to an external payroll service. Almost everyone signed up without issue, with a few glorious exceptions. This was an exchange I had with one of the maintenance guys, lets call him Dude.

(Actions are denoted by the ~ symbol)

~dude calls in~

Me: Helpdesk, this is Evan
Dude: I need help signing up for my payroll account

~I remote into his PC, direct him to sign up page~

Me: Alright, put in your personal info here, let me know if you need help with anything.
~Dude takes forever to type in info, I get distracted with other work~
Dude: I'm done.
Me: OK, lets try to log in now. What is your username?
Dude: Uhhhh $FullNameWithSpaces
Me: Are you sure? They don't allow spaces in the username... Lets try to login

~Login doesn't work, we try multiple variations~

Me: Are you sure that's the username you just picked?
Dude: Yeah! Definitely. I got it written down right here.
Me: OK, well that's not it. Lets hit "forgot username" and it will send you an email with your username.

~email does not arrive~

Me: Are you sure you used your work email to sign up?
Dude: Yeah! Definitely.
Me: OK, let me go check with $HeadofHR and see what is going on

~$HeadofHR logs in with admin rights, gets dude's email and username~

Me: Alright, so your username is $Username and it looks like you used your $BigISP email. That's why we didn't receive the email. So lets login with that info.
~we go to login page, put in proper username~
Me: Alright, type in your security question answer, and then your password.
Dude: ~Takes 3 tries to get security question right~ (It was his daughters name)
Me: OK, now this is the password you just signed up with. The password for your payroll account. Got it?
Dude: Yeah! Definitely. I got it written down right here.

~Tries multiple passwords, none work~

At this point I was frustrated, this is normally a very simple process. I don't know why we allowed users to sign up with personal emails, but that's not my call.

Me: OK, we'll need to reset your payroll account password. Do you know how to get into your $BigISP email?
Dude: Yeah! Definitely. I have it written down right here.
Me: ~Goes to $BigISP login page~
Me: OK, login
Dude: ~types in full name with spaces as username~
Me: Again, they wouldn't allow spaces in the username. And I know from when I talked to $HeadofHR that your username is $ISPusername.
Me: ~Types in proper username for Dude~
Me: OK, now enter your password.
Dude: ~types in password, hits enter.~

~That doesn't work~

Me: ~Controlling rage~
Me: OK, lets try to reset the password to this $BigISP email account then. Lets hit forgot password and answer the security question
Dude: ~Types in answer to "What's your favorite pet?" and of course, it's not the correct answer~
Dude: ~Hits enter 4 times without changing the answer~
Me: If it didn't work the first time... Hmm. Do you have any other pets?
Dude: I only got one dog!

Me: Well, I guess you're not getting paid.

After the call ended, I called into $payrollcompany support and got his account changed to use his company email. It took two attempts to reset his payroll account password, but we got in. I showed him how to clock in and out and view his paychecks. Turns out he was a super nice guy who works with his hands and doesn't use computers. He originally retired in the early 2000's and never had to use a computer at work. He told me that he would buy me a beer next time he was in town.

Sometimes, patience pays off. Be nice to the less computer savvy people in your life.